An email turned up the other day from someone I hadn’t heard from for years, and it was an encouragement to me: … I stumbled across your blog a few months ago and have been following the progress you have been making with your illness. I just wanted to send you my best wishes for the future. I also wanted to let you know that you were a positive influence on me when I was a teenager and you managed to command the respect of all the young people you came into contact with at St Augustine’s (Whitchurch, South Bristol) by just being yourself …

I’m very grateful for that email. It arrived on a tough day for me and lifted my spirits - thank you, Dave.

Last Sunday was a good day for me. The Band played well at No Limits! in the morning and then (with a different line up) at HEART in the evening. Everyone did well.

By the end of the evening I was flagging a bit, but then had another good day yesterday -I’m making the most of them while I can!

I now feel as though I am on some kind of spiritual trajectory as well as a medical/therapeutic one. The spirituality of St. Ignatius has been a help to me for years, and it is helping me now. In fact I am re-reading Margaret Hebblethwaite’s book ‘Finding God in all Things’. I find that kind of stuff really helpful in meditating on the Gospels.

So in my own inner journey with this last treatment, and not wanting to make it sound more than it is, I feel as though I am meditating on my own period of ‘Passiontide’ that is leading me to the new beginnings of Christmas.

It is helping me to have perspective on the next two weeks of treatment and recovery. My meditation began therefore with sharing communion with my friends at church two days ago. Now I’m somewhere in the Garden of Gethsemane. (About every half an hour for the past three/four days I have had this little fantasy that my consultant or an oncology nurse will ring to say: “You don’t need to do the last treatment, Ian.”, but it isn’t going to happen - not my will, but Yours …). Tomorrow the ‘crucifixion’ begins, and then resurrection will begin a couple of weeks after that. I just may find a meaningful way through with that journey to make.

I’m not expecting to be over it all in a fortnight. Helen and I are planning a month on, for a great Christmas weekend - that will be enough. As long I do well enough with the Christmas Services, and the turkey and beer taste normal on Christmas Day I shall be happy!

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